I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
