I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
