Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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