i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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