Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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