I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
