even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have tasted many bathrooms
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
