its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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