Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
