we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
