Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize