She is in my trunk
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize