Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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