look no pants
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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