So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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