Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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