Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
