There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
