All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
