she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
