Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
