Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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