the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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