OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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