I can't watch pbs sober anymore
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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