I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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