It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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