apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
