I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
