You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
