super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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