apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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