the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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