Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
