I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
