Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
