just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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