i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
