She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
