Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
