Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
