Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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