i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize