Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
