Tell her she can't have a vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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