I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
