i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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