who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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