Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
