Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
worst night to have a conscience
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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