I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize