Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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