does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
