i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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