Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
