You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize