I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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