people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize