no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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