If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
