Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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