after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
