i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
